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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29481828">The things he can't let happen.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storylover204BlueEyesAngel2/pseuds/Storylover204BlueEyesAngel2'>Storylover204BlueEyesAngel2</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chicago PD (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Intelligence Unit family, Jay has trouble with feelings, Mention of certain episodes, Papa Bear Voight, Protective Intelligence Unit., Takes place somewhere in season 3, characters mention</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:55:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,588</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29481828</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storylover204BlueEyesAngel2/pseuds/Storylover204BlueEyesAngel2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jay wasn't sure how it happened, but somewhere along the way he became "Voight's boy". </p>
<p>Or </p>
<p>How Jay Halstead became someone special in Voight's life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz &amp; Jay Halstead, Jay Halstead &amp; Hank Voight, Jay Halstead/Erin Lindsay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The things he can't let happen.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I do not own Chicago Pd, the show and characters belong to Dick Wolf and its network. This story is for creative and fun purposes. Thank you. </p>
<p>Note: For anyone following my other stories this is not me abandoning them. I had lost my writing passion and 2020 didn't help. But I am back and I can't wait to start writing again! This story is simply just meant to help me get back into the motion of things. It's been an idea that has been stuck in my head for a while. </p>
<p>I can't wait to pick back up "Through the Fire comes a Family" and "Azrail".  Especially for Azrail. I have a lot of ideas for that story. I may have to revamp a few things but keep an eye out for updates. </p>
<p>However, I am not shy to hearing ideas or suggestions you guys have for the two stories. Don't be afraid to message me.</p>
<p>Now on to the story!  </p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Jay wasn't sure when it happened, but somehow he became considered "Voight's boy," Similar to how everyone saw Erin as "Voight's girl," He couldn't understand where someone would get the notion in their head that Jay carried the same value as Erin to Voight. Jay always and still does consider himself to be just one of Voight's men,  not someone that held a special place in Hank Voight's life. </p>
<p>Jay recalls the first time someone addressed him as Voight's boy.</p>
<p>Jay and Adam were following up a lead during a case involving three people murdered at home. It was slowly starting to turn into more than just a robbery gone south, and they needed to move quickly. The person they were questioning happened to know Voight from a distant life (in a not friendly way). During the conversation, the title "Voight's boy" was addressed towards Jay. Although, it was hard to tell if the person was talking specifically to Jay or Adam. (The guy may have been a little drunk).  But it threw Jay off for a second because that was a title that Jay had never heard before. And Jay had been called a lot of things in his years as a cop. He assumed the man just meant one of Voight's guys on Intelligence, and it to be an insult. So, he didn't put that much thought into it.  </p>
<p>Until it happened again on a different case, months later. Intelligence was tracking a large shipment of drugs killing kids on the street. This time he was with Antonio and Kevin, bringing in one of the assholes selling the stuff to kids two blocks from a high school. The dumbass tried to run, and of course, Jay tackled the moron before he could make it to the door. The second he was on the ground, with Jay reading his rights and getting out his cuffs, he started screaming. Except, it wasn't him demanding a lawyer with the occasional cuss words thrown in or pleading his innocents as Jay usually hears. Instead, the words were, "Do your worse man! I ain't afraid of Voight's Boy!"</p>
<p>And the punk yelled it right in Jay's face.</p>
<p>So, it was that time he was sure without a doubt that the title "Voight's boy" was meant for Jay specifically. Not Antonio, Kevin, or even Adam. But Jay still thought it meant him being a member of Voight's unit. So, he ignored it again. </p>
<p>It didn't start to creep into Jay's mind until the third time it happened. Jay had gone with Alvin to talk to one of his CI's. He was also an old trusted friend to Hank Voight and Alvin Olinsky. Jay didn't know the exact details of how this man became a CI, let alone was a good friend of the oldest two members to Intelligence. However, Jay learned it's sometimes best not to know everything about Alvin Olinsky and Hank Voight. A local park was where the met up was agreed. Alvin and Jay both sat on one side of the picnic table while the man sat on the other side, instantly demanding to know who Jay was. Alvin made the introductions. </p>
<p>"This is Detective Jay Halstead, a member of our unit."</p>
<p>"Oh, I heard of you. You're Voight's boy," said the man. </p>
<p>"Yeah, that's him," replied Alvin. </p>
<p>Jay zoned out the rest of the remaining conversation. His mind replaying over and over the last two lines spoken. </p>
<p>
  <em>"You're Voight's boy."</em>
  <br/>
  <em>"Yeah, that's him."</em>
</p>
<p>Jay realized something then. All the times he was with either Adam, Kevin, or Antonio. He had never heard one of them being addressed as "Voight's boy" like Jay was.  </p>
<p>Alvin didn't notice Jay's sudden silence throughout the conversation, or he chooses to ignore it. Jay was thankful because he didn't even know how to address his newfound title known by everyone but him in Chicago. </p>
<p>Of course, there was still a chance that it was in Jay's head, that he was being paranoid. </p>
<p>Jay finally decided to have the courage to ask someone about it. Which is how he found himself in the car with Erin, trying to sneak the subject into normal conversation.  After AGAIN, a member, who belonged to the one said gang that Intelligence was trying to stop a from rising a gang war with another, called Jay "Voight's boy" and Erin "Voight's girl." </p>
<p>Jay couldn't ignore it any longer. He had to get to the bottom of this. </p>
<p>"What, you're just noticing this now?" asked Erin, after Jay brought up the subject. </p>
<p>"Wait, hold on. You knew people were calling me this and never told me?" asked Jay. </p>
<p>"I mean, I thought you already figured it out when you were with Kev and Antiono on that one case and that guy- "</p>
<p>"They told you about that?!"</p>
<p>Erin chuckled. "Of course, Antiono couldn't help but comment how funny your expression was when the guy called you Voight's boy." </p>
<p>Jay groaned. He thought he was good at keeping a mask on twenty-four seven. Guess when you work with a group of people for so long, especially people who are as skilled as the Intelligence unit, they learn how to read you behind the mask. </p>
<p>"But I never had heard Ruz, Kev, or Antiono called Voight's boy. It's either; "Voight's men" or "Voight's dogs," said Jay. "Except O, who only ever gets know as Voight's guy."</p>
<p>"I think my favorite was all of us being called Voight's bitches by that soccer mom," commented Erin with a smirk. "The look on Voight's face was priceless."</p>
<p>"I'm being serious here," said Jay.  "When people are calling me Voight's boy, they mean like one of his men right? Same as the rest of the guys- "</p>
<p>"Nope," said Erin. </p>
<p>Jay did not like how cheerful that nope sounded. "What do you mean?" </p>
<p>"When you are being called Voight's boy it's the same as me being called Voight's girl," answered Erin. </p>
<p>Jay's jaw uncontrollable starting opening and closing like a goldfish. He eventual found his voice.</p>
<p>"They do realize that Voight's not my Dad." </p>
<p>"Yep."</p>
<p>"I have a Dad."</p>
<p>"Uh-huh."</p>
<p>"Voight doesn't own me."</p>
<p>Erin shot him a look. "Voight doesn't own me either."</p>
<p>Jay tried to backpaddle. "That's not what I meant- "</p>
<p>"I know what you meant," cut off Erin. "Listen. Are there some people who think I belong to Voight? Who believes that I am just some loyal little girl who will always follow and obey Voight's bidding? Damn, right there are."</p>
<p>Erin had pulled over on the side of the road so she can turn and look Jay straight in the eye. </p>
<p>"But there are people who know the truth. By calling me Voight's girl, it means that I'm family and I'm protected. We may be able to handle ourselves, but we live and work a dangerous life.  There are a lot of people on both sides who would do anything to see the fall of Hank Voight. And you know that some people have been dumb enough to try. The way I see it, being called Voight's girl is a recognition that if anyone screws with me, they're ending up at the bottom of the Chicago River or buried alive in The Silos." </p>
<p>"Voight would do the same for any of us," defended Jay. Thinking back to the chain wrapped around Pulpo's neck. </p>
<p> "Yes, Voight thinks of all of us like family, and we are. But I know for a fact that when it comes to you or me Voight tends to act more paternal." </p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"A papa bear would do anything to protect his cubs."</p>
<p>"Oh my god, stop." Jay groaned and slid down his seat. "I just don't understand when this happened." </p>
<p>"Probably right around the Keyes case. Although his protectiveness started showing when that bounty was placed on you," said Erin. "After that, Voight sent a message that coming after you was asking for a one-way ride with him."</p>
<p>Jay groaned and rubbed his hand over his face. Now that Erin brought it up, he remembers on both occasions where Voight had kept a special eye on him.  Practically forcing him to go to the hospital, and making Jay ride along with him for a month, (he learned then where Erin got her habit of not letting anyone else drive) when Jay was cleared for the field. Growling and shooting a glare every time Jay tried to go somewhere alone or protest. At the time, Jay just assumed that was Voight showing his displeasure with how he handled the case or felt that Jay couldn't be trusted to look after himself and his partner, Erin. </p>
<p>He didn't know that was Voight being protective! </p>
<p>"Why is this such a big deal? Is it so terrible to be recognized as someone important to Voight?" asked Erin. </p>
<p>"No!" replied Jay quickly, hoping that Erin wasn't taking this the wrong way. "It just with you it makes sense because Voight's your Dad. You are someone important to him. Voight and I just always seem to argue about everything. We can never see eye to eye." </p>
<p>"I think you guys are more alike than you think. Al has mentioned on more than one occasion that you remind him of a younger Voight back in the day," said Erin. </p>
<p>"He did not!" denied Jay. He hoped that Alvin never said that to Voight's face. The man might kick Jay in the river just so he doesn't have to deal with a younger version of himself.  </p>
<p>"Oh yes, he did." </p>
<p>Jay groaned again. </p>
<p>"Admit it, babe, you're one of us. And there is nothing you can do now to change it," teased Erin. She put the car in drive and pulled away from the spot. "I still don't know how you didn't notice thou. I mean the man lectures you more than me."</p>
<p>"Most of the time I am getting lectured is because of you," replied Jay. </p>
<p>"That's not true!"</p>
<p>"Oh yes it is, or did you forget the taser certification incident?"</p>
<p>"Things may have gotten a little out of hand-"</p>
<p>"I believe the words, "taser war" was mention several times in the yelling."</p>
<p>"But that wasn't my fault! You started it!"</p>
<p>"I don't start things. I end them." </p>
<p>"Oh, sure."</p>
<p>Jay lightly chuckled. "Just because people call me something doesn't mean that it's true." He was still in denial. </p>
<p>Jay was proven wrong forty-eight hours later when someone tried to run him and Erin off the road, causing their car to tumble down a hill and land belly up. Miraculously, neither one of them had even a scratch. Although they had to prove that to the rest of the unit when they came rolling up on the scene, and a very unhappy older brother, who was not pleased that his little brother was back in the hospital again. <em>"It hasn't even been six months Jay!"</em> shouted Will when Jay was pushed in (after being forced into) on a gurney.</p>
<p>
  <em>"Oh Jay, good to see you again! Welcome back. Wish it was under better circumstances, but what can you do." </em>
</p>
<p>Jay did not like Dr. Charles. </p>
<p>The man had an annoying way of seeing right through him and testing the boundaries of his walls. He was kind of paranoid with the idea that he had become Dr. Charles's new pet project, and his brother was behind it.  Little did Will know that not even a gun to his head would make Jay Halstead walk into Dr. Charle's office. </p>
<p> Thou, he never would let know Erin that. She was still seeing him weekly. </p>
<p>The team worked the case, Voight hovering over Erin and Jay the entire time. They were able to find the guy who had driven the truck that pushed them off the road.  It was someone that Intelligence had put away back in the younger days of the unit, and the guy was looking for some payback.  </p>
<p>When they finally caught the guy, after a thrilling car chase. Jay in the back seat, (because driving privileges had been taken away) telling Voight where to go, and Voight snapping back that he knew how to drive. Erin sitting in the front passenger seat like it was a casual family trip.  </p>
<p>Voight grabbed the man and dragged him out of his car, slamming him into the hood. With a smack in the face when he yelled for a lawyer. </p>
<p>"You tried to kill two cops, and you have the nerve to ask for a lawyer!" shouted Voight. </p>
<p>Antonio came over and started patting the man down and reading his rights. Not once commenting on Voight's rough handling. Alvin, standing behind Voight, Adam, and Kevin clearing traffic around them and Erin calling an ambo for the car that got sideswiped in the chase. </p>
<p>"I don't regret what I did! You got what you deserved! My only regret was that I didn't kill one of you!" screamed the man, specifically at Jay, seeing him standing a few feet away. </p>
<p>Voight yanked hard on the man's hair, pulling his head back to look up at him while Antonio started cuffing him. </p>
<p>"Let me make something clear to you. Nobody comes after my kids, do you hear me! You threaten or harm my kids, and I will end you!" </p>
<p>Jay felt his heart rise to the throat at the mention of <em>'kids'</em>, plural.</p>
<p>Voight finished by slamming his head against the hood. </p>
<p>"Take him to the cage," he ordered. Antonio quickly pulled him up and carried him away. </p>
<p>Jay turned to Alvin. "I didn't know that Justin was also targeted."</p>
<p>Alvin looked at him confused. "He wasn't."</p>
<p>Jay glanced back at Voight. The sergeant had made his way over to the car that got hit in the chase. Reassuring the driver and waiting for the ambulance with Erin. </p>
<p>The feel in his throat was not leaving. It must have been just a slip of the tongue on Voight's part. Jay tried to convince himself that. </p>
<p>He didn't mean it. </p>
<p>He didn't mean it. </p>
<p>He didn't mean it. </p>
<p>He didn't mean it. </p>
<p>He didn't mean it. </p>
<p>He didn't-</p>
<p>Oh shit.  </p>
<p>Jay didn't like to be vulnerable. It was always something he had an issue with since he was a kid. His time in the Rangers didn't help that. The only person that Jay had ever opened his soul to was Mouse, and there was no choice in that matter. It was survival for both.  There were things that he never told, never showed, to even Erin or Will. And Jay loved both with all his heart. He had always let them known that. But there was something that always lingered in the back of his mind, something that always kept holding him back from accepting their love in return, or that he was worth of said love and care. He was like that with everyone in his life. Even with the guys in the Intelligence Unit, who Jay thinks of us brothers and would easily do anything for, always kept a safe distance. A distance from anyone getting past the walls that Jay had learned to build over the years. He could claim that it was because of what happened to his old unit in the Rangers that made Jay hesitant to get close. But that was only an excuse. Jay knew it was because he always had one strong option about himself.<br/> <br/>He breaks everything he touched. </p>
<p>So, of course, it freaked Jay out to think that Voight cared for Jay that much. To think he mattered to Voight on the same level as Erin and Justin. A father figure who would do anything to protect him. </p>
<p>It frightens Jay.  </p>
<p>It still scared him being so close to Erin, always holding back because he couldn't stand the idea of him being the cause of something happening to her. He was like that with his brother too. Now he feared the same happening to Voight and, in turn,  the rest of the Unit. </p>
<p>It was irrational Jay knew that. But that little voice in his head that almost sounded like the 10-year-old him was always screaming bad things happened when people got close. </p>
<p>Jay reflected on his time in Intelligence and his relationship with each member, and he came to a horrible realization. They were all like that. Sure, each relationship was different, but the love and care that they held for him were just as damning as Erin's and Voight's. And Jay knew that he cared for each of them just as deeply.</p>
<p>How did this happen? Jay thought he had been so careful. When did he find a place somewhere in each of their hearts? When did these people get past his walls?</p>
<p>He recalls a few times, especially after he the kidnapped and tortured, where they almost hovered over him. Sure Will and Mouse handle it the usual way whenever Jay was in danger. Will would mother hen to the point where Jay would consider murder with a pillow, and Mouse would stay close. Which is what Jay needed after what happened. A lot of painful memories were brought up from that incident. He's still not sure why Will thinks it's weird that Jay and Mouse like to sleep on the floor next to each other.  It was a comforter from their ranger days. </p>
<p>But everyone else, oh boy.  Kevin refused to let him be the first to kick down a door and go in. Adam would stay a little closer when they breached a location. Antonio's hand always shooting up quicker than Jay's when volunteering for an undercover op. Alvin offering/demanding to come with Jay whenever he would go to see a CI. Kim and Roman, secretly trying to check in on him by asking him tactile questions. </p>
<p>Even Platt, watching him like a hawk whenever he walked through the door. The look used to be of annoyance. Now it was one that seemed almost like she was analyzing him. Checking for injuries or any other physical problems she deemed worth bringing up.  </p>
<p>One time Jay didn't even make it to his desk before Erin grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back down to take him to Med. All over a cut on his arm! Platt had picked up the phone and dialed Voight before Jay could even open the gate door. Voight ordered Erin to escort him to the hospital. Like he was six years old. When he was pulled downstairs by Erin,<br/>Platt only smiled at him when they walked past her. A finger may have gone up, but that's between Jay and Platt. <br/> <br/>Along with Erin's mother Henning him and Voight forcing him to ride shotgun, there had been a shift change to how everyone was treating him. But at the time, Jay just assumed that it was everyone still trying to handle the loss of Nadia. It hadn't even been a year before what happened to Jay. So, he let them hover do what they needed to get over the fear of losing a partner. However, the change didn't disappear after the time of grief had passed. It may have eased up, but it certainly didn't vanish.</p>
<p> There could be a possibility that it was always there, and he didn't notice until recently. Will had told him several times that Jay could be pretty ignorant on matters relating to himself. But that revelation only freaked out Jay even more. It was different when Jay thought and knew them all just as partners.  He never took in Voight always saying they were a family. To Jay, they were simply members of a team, and he thought it was vice versa for them. Knowing that they all cared for him like that. That Jay held a special place in their hearts and would do anything for him. </p>
<p>What if they died trying to protect him?</p>
<p>Jay felt like someone punched him in the gut while trying to rip into his chest. He couldn't handle the thought of it. That could never happen. Sure, they all had taken an oath, and Jay knew that there might be one day where one of them doesn't come home. But Jay never wanted to be the reason that one of them didn't come home. </p>
<p>Especially Erin. </p>
<p>It had always been a secret rule that Jay had made with himself regarding his partnership with Erin. From the moment he knew he loved her. </p>
<p>Erin always came first. </p>
<p>Hank Voight was Erin's father. Erin couldn't lose her father. Jay didn't think that Voight meant it when he said to Jay he'd protect him. But now Jay's starting to believe the man was serious. And that can not happen! <br/>Voight was the leader of the Intelligence Unit. Number one, the boss, alpha pack leader, whatever you wanted to call it. Disregarding everyone's feelings, they would follow Voight's lead. They all have followed his lead. Because Voight was someone they all respected and trusted. So if Hank Voight were to give his life trying to protect Jay, then…</p>
<p>Jay stopped what he was doing to glance up at Erin at her desk. She didn't notice him. He then peeked through the office window at Voight talking on the phone. Then around the room to where everyone else was doing reports, paperwork, napping, if you were Alvin, and paper football, if you were Adam and Kevin. </p>
<p>It was peaceful, it was calm, it was perfect. </p>
<p>Jay should consider transferring to a different unit. </p>
<p><strong>END</strong> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hoped you enjoyed it. Please leave a review and comments. </p>
<p>Thank you.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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